Sand in the Hourglass
by half.hakujin
Summary: Gaara meets a mysterious kunoichi, dark pasts and darker futures ensue...I suck at summaries...GaaxOC, TemaXShika if you read between the lines rated T just in case self insert
1. Chapter 1  The First Meeting

This story takes place after Gaara's revival, assuming he has the exact same abilities. (Except for the Shukaku-ness.)

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. It's the sad truth.**

As the sun rose over the arid desert, so did he. Even though it was physically possible for him to sleep now, Gaara woke early and retired late. He missed the sunrise and the time of night when the moon hung perfectly above. He waited until the village was stirring as well before heading to his office.

The day progressed without any major event. He continued the ever-augmenting paperwork. That was, until the afternoon meeting with his advisors, the 'Sungakure Round Table' as Kankurou often joked. That was when Baki informed him that there was some unrest in the other shinobi villages, and he would now be attending the upcoming Chuunin Exams a few days early. Apparently, he thought it would be best to have some time to talk to the Hokage, Tsunade, without causing unsettlement to the ever-watchful villagers. They would just see their Kazekage leaving for the Exams, as he did every six months.

And so, it was that night that he and his older siblings set out to the distant village of Konoha. Temari always seemed to watch him from the corner of her eye. Ever since the Ichibi was extracted, she had seemed overly concerned with the young Kazekage's well-being. Kankurou retained the idea that Gaara shouldn't be smothered, which his younger brother appreciated.

As the moon rose, Gaara watched the campfire spark and flicker. The golden glow cast by the dancing flames illuminated the encroaching darkness, and gave form to his siblings' sleeping shadows. Sleep was still unnatural, so close to being dead that Gaara was always just a tiny bit worried he wouldn't wake up the next morning. He turned away from the peaceful slumber of the two jounin.

As the sun set on the third day, the Kazekage and his escorts reached the gates of Konoha. Gaara looked at the kanji decorating the giant doors, remembering his first visit to the Village Hidden in the Leaves. What had he been then? A murderous, self-righteous insomniac? Well, he didn't want to say it aloud, but he rued those days. Naruto Uzumaki released him from a life not worth living, and inspired him to find a life that others made worthwhile. He would forever be in debt to that hyperactive blond shinobi.

"I suppose we should go see the Hokage, right?" Kankurou said suddenly. Gaara blinked, yanked from his reverie, and nodded. Tsunade might be an alcoholic compulsive gambler, but she was doing a pretty good job of taking care of Konoha in its weakened state.

Temari was watching him again.

She watched him from the treetops, and followed his movements with critical eyes. Was this her target? He hardly looked like chuunin material, let alone Kazekage. She wondered if he really possessed the power she knew the Kazekage to have. His face was devoid of emotion. It reminded her of the face she saw reflected back at her. Without a sound, she was gone.

Gaara, in disguise, observed the crop of genin this year. Some he had seen many times, trying their luck against odds determined to devastate them. Some were new, fresh-faced and hopeful. He noticed a boy who could be no older than twelve, already scarred by some past battle. His eyes were drawn to a three-man cell that kept apart from the others, resting against the wall. It was a team of all kunoichi, unusual at the very least. From their forehead protectors, he gathered that the team was from Kumogakure, the Village Hidden in the Clouds.

Two of the kunoichi dressed alike, in short, kimono-like dresses with mesh shirts underneath, a katana strapped to their back, and tall boots. The third wore shorts with a cut-off shirt exposing mesh underneath. Her legs were wrapped in white bands to below the knee, and sandals.

The girls - young women - all wore their forehead protectors around their right bicep, and though none of the three spoke a word, they seemed to be conveying information through subtle glances and movements. Gaara took note of the team before leaving. Kumo was one of the most agitated shinobi villages.

Kankurou saw his younger brother take off, and nodded to Temari before departing. She stayed behind for a second, making brief eye contact with Shikamaru Nara before blushing and disappearing.

The first two rounds of the Exams passed without anything out of the ordinary happening. The Kumo kunoichi passed, and Gaara fought to quell the rising sense of distrust, in both this team and their other Cloud-nin counterparts. He shook the thought from his head and took a walk to calm himself.

Konoha was so alive with foliage. The verdant wildlife differed from Gaara's homeland in the desert so greatly that Gaara made sure he would never come to Konoha without wandering through its lush forests. It was a refreshing change in scenery, and though the shadows of branches blocked out the light of the moon and stars, Gaara did not feel uneasy at all. He was safer than anyone in this village.

Or so he thought. His sand defence exploded around him, as blows struck from all directions. The Kazekage readied himself for a confrontation.

She leapt from tree to tree. He didn't hear her, and she didn't expect him to. She had trained for this, after all. Her life was a cycle of training and killing.

Readying herself, she pulled out two giant shuriken and threw them at the Kazekage's back, fully aware of what would happen. As his trademark sand barrier tried to suck the shuriken in, she pulled on the wires and spun the shuriken again, and when his defence blocked them, she yanked on the wires attached to the star-like weapons and continued the intricate dance of attacks.

The sand reached out, forming a claw-like hand that pulled on her shuriken. Breath catching, she detached the wires, but not before being drawn from her perch on a branch to the cold, hard ground. She rose gracefully and cocked her head at him.

"Hello," she murmured absent-mindedly. The young man before her observed her stance and appearance. She tugged at the kunai pouch on her right thigh, more out of habit than self-consciousness. "Nice night for a stroll, isn't it? Did you see that sunset?"

The Kazekage nodded. His face was impassive, but his eyes betrayed a sliver of confusion. With good reason. Smiling, the kunoichi continued her polite conversation.

"I love watching sunsets, especially from the top of a mountain. It's the best view you'll ever have." She waited for his reaction. He hardly blinked, but his sand coiled in upon itself, retreating to hover around him defensively. Something inside her begged her to stall for time.

"You must not be local. I swear, you have to travel north or west of Konoha to find people who know how to shut up." The Kazekage said nothing. Time passed. She tilted back her head and watched the moon hit the peak of the night sky. Sighing, she said softly, "Kazekage-sama, I don't really want to kill you. But I cannot disobey orders, and it may prove to be a good challenge." Finally he blinked. "Sabaku no Gaara - I may have the advantage in this battle. I have learned all there is to know about your weaknesses, yet I am a stranger to you. It seems unfair." She closed her eyes briefly. "But I suppose even you deserve the name of your opponent. I am Kimiko," she inclined her head in respect. Gaara said nothing still. What was there to say?

They faced each other. The moon was their only spectator.

"Do you say nothing because you feel in control of this situation?" Kimiko inquired quietly. Well, he wasn't. "I won't wait forever. If you aren't ready to make a move, then I will," she told him. As she prepared to attack, she felt something bogging her down. A quick glance confirmed it - sand was accumulating around her and was swarming up her ankles. She leapt backwards, and again, and the sand followed her. She cursed and propelled herself from a tree trunk into the heart of the swirling, writhing sand.

As it closed around her eagerly, she spun and disappeared. The sand grasped nothing, and Gaara's face moulded around her fist. He was thrown back, but landed on a soft pillow of sand. Kimiko saw he had turned his gourd into more sand. It was like he was walking around with a desert on his back! Still, his shield couldn't keep up with her speed - she knew that much.

The young man rose slowly, and the sand armour Kimiko had been warned about cracked into a spider web pattern. She calculated how many hits it would take to wear it down, then took off again. She waited for an opening in the sand he had gathered around himself. When she saw it, she leapt, her body caught in the chase, her mind blank and reacting only on instinct. This was the worst part of battle. When she started to enjoy it.

Again and again the sand blocked her. Frustrated, she summoned a clone and they both attacked, both at the dizzying speed that the kunoichi possessed. Finally, a hit! And another, and another, until the sand armour lay in pieces and piles around the clearing.

Gaara stumbled backwards, and she closed in for the kill. With the kunai at his throat, she stopped. It pressed into his neck so hard she felt his pulse. But, she wondered…

"Why am I doing this? He never did anything to me," she muttered. The young Kazekage watched her tortured decision. Suddenly, she choked; closing her eyes in invisible pain, she fell back and clutched at her head. It was happening again. Old memories surfaced, wrenching her heart in two. And the voice, whispering those awful truths in her ear. It was worse than any pain ever conceived by an honest shinobi.

"Stop it!" she screamed. "Get out of my head!" Gaara saw something. In the dip of her shirt collar, a curse mark surfaced just below her collarbone. It looked like a comma with a bolt of lightning on either side, and it was burning red.

He felt the shortest spark of pity before she regained control, slowly standing. He hoped his shock wasn't too obvious in his eyes. Breathing heavily, she glared at him. She had lost precious time, they both knew it. The sand armour was already reattaching itself.

The Cloud-nin then did something surprising - quickly forming hand seals, she gathered long strands of lightning on the tip of each of her fingers, and using them like a puppet master, she struck at Gaara. The sand tried to protect him, but the lightning passed through it and hit him, the blow making him tingle and forcing him back. He wondered what effect the attack had had - until he found his arms ignoring his commands - his legs, too, were frozen, and he could barely move his head.

As the kunoichi rushed towards him, Gaara felt vulnerable for a second, a feeling so scarcely felt by the Kazekage that he found in his will the strength to overpower his paralysis and throw his arms up. If he couldn't dodge the attack, this was the best he could do.

The strength behind the kunoichi's kick made Gaara's bones tremble, as though to break, but stayed solid. She kicked again, and then threw a punch, which threw Gaara off his feet; his legs were still pillars of stone weighing him down with no independent motion. He grasped for sand, which swarmed around the distracted kunoichi's legs and torso, rendering her immobile as well.

Bringing her hands together into the u-hitsuji hand seal, the Cloud-nin charged herself with the electricity she'd displayed earlier. So, Gaara thought through the haze of battle, she was a lightning-style-user as well as a taijutsu-user. As the strange numbness ensconcing his legs disappeared, Gaara stood and faced the girl who was now free of his sand.

As the Cloud-nin touched her temple gingerly, Gaara sent forth a tidal wave of sand. She looked at it for a second, then she had taken off and was gone. She reminded him of Lee, of Sasuke, how their speed seemed to bestow them invisibility. He waited, drawing his sand closer and higher around him, waiting.

And then there she was, lightning streaming from all of her fingers, and she whipped them at him like the talented puppeteer she proved herself to be, each white-hot filament attacking various areas of sand, the last one driving in at his chest. Gaara barely had time to blink before he was sent backwards across the glade, his momentum carving a dent in the immense trunk behind him.

The sand armour had been loosely recompiled, and it was now Gaara realized the value of keeping it thick. The pain shooting through his back and lungs made it hard to breathe, so he leaned against the tree, letting his sand do the attacking.

The kunoichi watched him with blank eyes. She raised her hands and brought them together to form a triangular window. Through this Gaara saw the air distort and churn, until the chakra she was gathering was visible, a seed of electricity blossoming in the centre of the triangle.

Instantly, Gaara pulled his defences up, rushing to construct his Absolute Defence before she struck with that extremely concentrated chakra. As the last layer was closing, he saw the light flare from her hands. The entire clearing seemed to light up as the blue bolt of electricity aimed for his defence.

Gaara had fought an electricity-user before. But he hadn't thought to make lightning rods beforehand, and now all his sand was focused in his absolute defence. Still, would it stand up to her attack?

As these thoughts rushed through his head, his world exploded in light and searing pain. His body seemed to be on fire, suspended in a dimension where this second of impact stretched on with no end near. His defence shattered until it was just sand again, pooling on the cold hard ground he found himself lying on. If he hadn't restored his sand armour, that hit would've been fatal. He struggled to rise, but found himself pushed back by a blow to his stomach.

Kimiko had him at kunai point again, ready to kill…but she hesitated again. And this time, Gaara seized his opportunity and used his sand to crush her right leg (for this was all he had strength to do) and fling her away from him. She gasped in pain as a tree trunk stopped her cruise through the air. Gaara stood slowly, each muscle screaming and each limb protesting. He watched his opponent.

The kunoichi seemed worn out. If he was correct, that last attack took up far too much chakra to be any ordinary ninjutsu. If it was a last resort, she had had her last chance. Gaara stood over her in cold judgement.

"Go ahead, kill me," she whispered, blood leaking from her mouth. "You may as well, seeing as I can't even do what they keep me alive for." She coughed, crimson splattering the ground. Gaara was ready to finish her off, when the curse mark started to smoulder again.

Something inside him tweaked when she clutched at her head and at the mark, scratching it with her fingernails and drawing blood. She didn't scream this time, but he could only guess at what torture she felt on top of the damage he'd already wreaked upon her. Instead of making a single noise, she convulsed and cringed on the hard dirt. Her body fell still, and her eyes closed.

The sun rose above the forest, lighting his fallen opponent's face. Gaara wondered. He felt pity rarely, and in small doses, but this time, something deeper compelled him to take her unconscious form in his arms and set course for the Konoha hospital. Was this person a murderous, dangerous enemy, or a tragic victim of some twisted jutsu? If he asked her himself, he felt there may be an answer holding some fragment of truth.

_The sand in the hourglass shifted. Grains fell, slowly but surely. Time was not yet limited, but the sand was not infinite. Soon, the glass would reach its final grain, and when it did, so would that person's final minute._

This is my first fanfic! Please review! thanks!


	2. Chapter 2  Things That Were

(A/N: The chapter title is stolen from Lord of the Rings, which I also do NOT own.)

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, never will.**

_She wandered in mist. Clouds of wandering white wrapped her too tightly. Shadows given just enough substance to cut her with gossamer touches. Oddly enough, she didn't feel lost. The fog kept her from seeing what was right or true, but it also shielded her and gave her a place to be. A shadow drifted close and she flinched involuntarily. The mist obscured her view again._

Gaara hadn't waited for the doctor's full analysis. He had asked if the curse mark was permanent. The nurse who had taken charge of the girl assured him it was badly linked with its creator, that whoever placed the seal was probably inexperienced in the art. Though he couldn't be sure the curse was the source of her pain, it seemed like the right thing to do to remove it, so he asked that the nurse did so.

He left. There was no expectation for him to stay. If he returned, it would be only to question her, but after surgery, visitors were denied for five days.

It was early morning, and the sun chased away the remaining blush of dawn in the sky. Gaara wondered why he felt so compelled to go back. She had, after all, tried to kill him, and it was an act of unnecessary generosity of him to serve her such a favour, ridding her of the curse mark.

It had been five days, and he'd told no one. It wasn't in his nature to talk gratuitously, and neither of his siblings seemed suspicious. Gaara looked at the setting sun, and was reminded of the kunoichi's nonchalant conversation before the battle began.

The young Kazekage stood before the hospital, not really knowing why. When he entered the hospital, with its clean lines and scent of antiseptic, he almost walked right back out. But the nurse on duty was the same one he'd met that night, and she greeted him brightly.

"Back to see your friend?" she smiled knowingly, to Gaara's utter confusion. "She's down that hall, fifth door on the left." Gaara walked slowly, trying not to see the other patients lying broken and still on their beds. The Chuunin Exams were pulling in clients like crazy, and still the final round was in two weeks.

"GAARA!" There was only one shinobi who screamed the Kazekage's name like that, and it was…

"Naruto? What brings you here?" Gaara waited for the blond to catch up. He caught his breath, then straightened and grinned.

"Ah, Moegi outdid herself in the second round. I came to visit her." Gaara didn't know who that was, but he nodded politely. Naruto peered at Gaara inquisitively. "Well, anyway, why are you here too?" Gaara stopped. They had reached the fifth door on the left. He opened it and let that answer Naruto's question.

As the dying light cast shadows in the silent room, rays of sun touched the girl's face and turned her auburn hair red as the curse mark she carried. Or did she? Bandages hid the result of the operation. She slept, eyelids fluttering erratically.

"Who is that?" Naruto whispered, as though she could hear him. As the Kazekage started to say he didn't know, he remembered what the kunoichi had told him before attacking, the name floating to his lips naturally.

"Kimiko is her name, I think. She's from the Hidden Cloud Village." Naruto started to ask another question, but Gaara held up his hand. The girl was stirring.

_The Raikage, leader of Kumogakure, had called her, a mere genin, to his office without her team. This was either really good or really bad. Kimiko knew she should be nervous, flustered, gracious, but emotions were already failing her. She stood stiffly and waited. The Raikage, tenting his fingers, talked slowly and surely._

"_Shall we skip the formalities, then?" She didn't nod or make any action to denote her agreement, but he continued with a harder edge to his voice. "There have been whispers of unease and lies between countries. Shinobi are raised to protect a country, essentially, but in such cases, it becomes a matter of destroying another country. And when talented shinobi standouts don't get the attention they deserve, they may not fight to their fullest extent to defend their country."_

_Translation: Leaders are pissed, there may be some more wars in the making, and I need good shinobi to help me crush opposing forces._

"_Some genin, such as yourself, have been mentored by jounin who recognise a greater potential, at this early stage, than other genin. Some genin even receive specialized training to develop their skills further. Your jounin mentor tells me you have more determination and more prowess, in all aspects, than any other genin in your age group. And also, you have nothing else to focus on, nothing left to lose." This was why she kept her emotions under such strict control. She satisfied herself with glaring at him. "So, I would like to extend to you an invitation to be given one-on-one intensive training, in return for your complete obedience and success. It is a great chance to learn new jutsu and find strength you'll never obtain on your own."_

_Translation: You seem like the horse to bet on. If you stay chained to my will for the rest of my life, I'll make you stronger._

_Kimiko wondered what he meant by success. If she failed, would he stop the training or punish her? And what if she didn't want to be obedient?_

_An emotion was surfacing, and it felt like panic. The Raikage wanted to make her into a tool, a weapon wielded by those too weak to enforce their will alone. What then would become of her life? Could she allow her existence to fade into something so absurdly submissive?_

"_I appreciate your offer. It is an honour," Kimiko started, remembering her manners. "But I am disinclined to accept." She bowed her head slightly and turned to leave._

"_How vexing. I was hoping we could do this the easy way," the Raikage sighed, and the kunoichi saw figures melt from the shadows. Metal edges winked in the flickering candlelight. It was an ambush!_

_Four chuunin later, she struggled against ropes that broke her skin on contact. The Raikage glided closer, his face an eerie mask in the dim lighting. She couldn't move her arms or legs, and he was getting nearer._

_When he drew her blood, she screamed, an animal, terrible sound that hurt her throat and soothed her mind. It wasn't the pain. It was the physical bond he was forging, the virtual chain he was leading her on. She screamed for her lost freedom._

She was awake, but she didn't open her eyes. It was easier to wait in the darkness. Suddenly she heard something - a whisper, and her eyes flew open.

She was in a starched white bed, in an unfamiliar room. She remembered fighting - losing to Gaara, the Kazekage, and then someone was using the curse. Her limbs were heavy, so she just turned her head.

Gaara, the Kazekage, stood in the room, shadowed by a blond shinobi, both watching her unblinkingly. She waited for one of them to speak. It didn't take long.

"Hi, my name is Naruto Uzumaki," said the blond, reaching out as if to shake her hand. "How do you feel?" Kimiko looked at the hand, then at his honest blue eyes, and again at the hand. Even if she'd wanted to shake it, moving seemed too much of a nuisance. She never got to sleep in, and from the silver cast of the moon, she could tell it had been a late slumber indeed.

"You have some questions to answer," the Kazekage reminded her. The Uzumaki boy retreated, eyeing Gaara curiously. After receiving an icy stare in response, Naruto Uzumaki darted out the door.

The moon faded behind a dark cloud. But stars still winked and flickered beyond the grasp of night.

"You didn't kill me." No, he'd brought her to a hospital. He'd tried to heal her. What a contrary man.

"I still need answers from you," he replied seriously. Kimiko struggled to sit up. He didn't help her, and she was glad.

"They'll kill me if I say anything," she stated truthfully.

"Will they?" Kimiko blinked. She noticed the bandage around her collarbone - around the mark. She gently peeled the cloth off, and what she saw astounded her to no end. A faint scar, in the shape of a comma, sat where before her blood had coloured a seal.

There was silence. She found her voice, but it shook.

"Thank you." It was the hardest thing she'd ever had to say; especially to the man she'd hunted and quite seriously tried to kill. Or, in the end, she had. She remembered the pain that rewarded her moment of question, and her stomach fluttered when she thought of her new freedom of choice.

She noticed the smooth fibrous feel of bandaging on her leg, not the ones she usually wrapped around them, but the hospital variety. Pulling it from under the covers, she bit her lip in pain. She'd forgotten about that short sting before the real pain began.

"What was your plan?" Gaara spoke again. Kimiko weighed her options. Without the curse mark, she'd never have to return to Kumogakure, but should she remain loyal to the village her father died defending? Then again, she was probably already scorned as a traitor, and listed for assassination.

"Kumo…was planning on attacking Konoha by infiltrating it under the guise of the Chuunin Exams. When we heard the Kazekage was coming earlier, the leader of our operation - and the Raikage - recognised you as a threat, possibly more so than the Hokage herself. And it was known Suna and Konoha were strong allies, so you would probably assist in the protection of the village. That was something we couldn't afford. So, because of my abilities, it was decided I would be best suited to kill you."

"Why did you attack alone? It would've been easier with your team," Gaara pointed out. Kimiko almost smiled - almost.

"They can't put themselves in danger, according to the Raikage. Basically, they are able to activate the curse mark, so they just watch me do the dirty work and make sure I don't fail or falter." She stopped and thought of something. "I guess the team never really was a three-man cell. It was a formality, a façade from the start."

"Like a horse and its master," Gaara muttered. He was right, of course. She was doing the work while they spurred her on by whipping her.

The cloud covering the moon slid away, lighting the room in silver. The Kazekage left, and the kunoichi remained, feeling helpless in her weakened state. She'd felt like this only twice before, thanks to the Raikage, and to her own stupidity.

"_I know that you're all excited to try these new lightning-jutsu on your own. But you can't." The class whined and objected, except for the withdrawn girl in the back. "Without someone more experienced to keep the lightning from drawing more chakra and getting out of control, you might be electrocuted." Suddenly the class was silent. "Dismissed."_

_As children ran off, talking excitedly amongst each other, the little girl in the back rose and began the long journey home. She saw parents pick up their child at school, and her heart seemed to contract painfully. She wouldn't let them see it. She was learning how to keep her emotions under control._

_The day was still young, though the cloudy sky made it appear dark, and the empty house waiting for her was not such a pleasant thought. So the young Kimiko wandered aimlessly, until she reached a fenced-in training ground._

_At this point, her brain was working on a different level. Strange thoughts crowded in her mind, urging her to enter the enclosure._

"_If I can perform this jutsu…and live," the little girl murmured, "then I will know there is still a reason for me to exist." Without people who cared for her, she had begun to feel like they had left her behind for some long journey, one that she needed to join. She stood at the exact centre of the enclosure._

_Inhale, exhale. Her breathing was louder than the wind. Slowly, she formed hand seals, making sure they were correct. And…_

_Light blazed around her, the grey sky crackling with lightning. Her eyes widened, the reflection of jagged lines shining on them. As blue chakra swirled and screamed, thunder rumbled in the background, and the grey skies released the storm they had held. Now electricity - real, pure lightning - twined with her chakra, braiding the two energies into white-hot demons that roared and rocked the sky._

_She screamed as her loose grip on that power slipped, and the lightning was drawn to the highest point in that flat area - if only she'd stood a bit closer to the fence - filling her body with heat and pain. Her hair sizzled, her skin dried and cracked, her eyes felt like they were burning out of their sockets. As the lightning turned her blood to fire, she fell and lay in the rain, water cooling her blazing body._

…

_She sat in the wheelchair. Well, she'd survived. But this punishment could be worse than death. Her existence was already fading. The doctors had confirmed her fears after her first day in the hospital - she was a paraplegic at seven years old. They told her she'd never walk again. They also told her she was lucky to be alive._

_Lucky? She was trapped in a body that no longer felt like her own. She felt the presence of her legs, and yet no amount of determination allowed her to move them. Lucky? _They_ were lucky she had no use for emotions, or she would've ripped their hearts out right then and there._

_This absolute helplessness was so overwhelming, she drowned in it. Every night she lay awake until her mind was so exhausted from torturing her, she fell asleep. Kimiko, the kunoichi with no legs. She'd never had talent for genjutsu, so what were her chances of being a shinobi now? Before, it had seemed unimportant, but now she only dreamed of following her father's footsteps. Not in reference to sleep, though. She never had dreams, only nightmares._

_She was staying at the hospital for the first month. Only four days in, it was already driving her insane. She couldn't do _anything_. Staring at her legs, she wondered…and scratched her right leg with one fingernail. The skin reacted, but she felt nothing._

_Tears wouldn't come. She wheeled over to the bed where she had to be hoisted up to go to sleep. Under the pillow, she kept her weapons, in the kunai pouch the nurse thought she'd gotten rid of. Drawing one out, she slashed at her legs with the kunai, crying now as she desperately tried to wake herself up from this nightmare. Blood welled out of wounds that were just phantoms to her. Any pain was better than no feeling at all._

_She hunched over, sobbing uncontrollably, her knuckles turning white as she squeezed the kunai tighter. Then - a prick, just the kunai glancing off her thigh. But she'd felt it - she'd felt that tiny sting, and as the blood raised itself, she gasped. The rest of her injuries were stinging, too, and she nearly fainted in shock, in relief._

_Perhaps there was a reason for her to live, after all_.

Gaara was there when she was released. He had to see this through, seeing as he'd started it. Kimiko had just walked out of the hospital, stopping when she saw him.

"Where are you going?" he asked, not unkindly. The girl opened her mouth, then closed it. She appeared to be just realizing something, and shrugged sadly. Gaara knew what she must be thinking. Kumo marked her a traitor, Konoha saw her as an enemy, and with her past loyalties and bordering on missing-nin status, she couldn't enter another country permanently without being watched like a hawk. What was the point of freeing her from a curse seal if she was just going to be monitored and restrained again?

Gaara couldn't just leave her to wander the world alone. Or float, unsure of where to stay, unable to stay anywhere. It was just too cruel. It was too close to his childhood memories of abandonment and heart-wrenching loneliness.

"I can grant you citizenship in Suna." Had he just said those words? Kimiko stared at him in the same bewilderment he felt. She nodded, conveniently mute. "Do you need to bring anything?"

She actually laughed; it was a harsh, bitter sound that sounded more like a cough. It was more genuine than one born of happiness, though, and it was strange and nice to see her revealing her hidden emotions.

"Even if I did, how could I get anything from my house, or with my team mates?" For some reason, the word 'house' stood out in that sentence, even though she had placed more sarcasm on 'team mates.' It wasn't the way she'd said it, it was just that she hadn't said 'home.'

Maybe she could find a home in Suna, one with much more value than just a house.

_Decisions made unconsciously, unsuspecting of the future presented by these choices. These decisions are what steer us down the road to our eventual doom, whether it is near or far, affected by the people you meet, you refuse to meet, everything you accept or refuse to accept. Affected by the choices you make because it makes sense to you, at that time. These decisions reflected by each grain of sand, and as they were made, the sand fell. The hourglass was uneven. The end was closer than the beginning._

**YES!** Second chapter is up! (but now things will probably slow down, don't get your hopes up.) And sorry for the slight emoness in this chapter. I couldn't help it.


	3. Chapter 3 Leaving it all Behind

**Thanks to my two reviewers (so far) - you guys ROCK! Also, this chapter is a bit mangled and sucky. And it really didn't turn out the way I wanted. Sorry.**

**A/N: I am using … for line breaks, the lines don't work.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this empty head.**

Amid swirling colours and mazes of textiles, Kimiko roamed aimlessly. Clothes draped over her arms, she twisted the fabrics around sweaty hands. Temari's call seemed so far away. She was now wondering whether shopping was even more difficult than a shinobi mission. And this one turned out much more complicated than she thought.

Gaara, the Kazekage, the man she was sent to assassinate, had freed her from the Raikage's grasp, and was now helping her get a life. They both agreed she should leave before the Chuunin Exams ended, before her former 'comrades' hunted her down. Unfortunately, Temari had insisted she needed to get a new wardrobe, seeing as she was leaving all her chattels behind. She had posed the suggestion to Gaara as "disguising Kimiko." But it was really more of an excuse to play dress-up with a life-sized doll.

Nearly running, the kunoichi (was she missing-nin now?) raced through racks of flowing material, only to crash into a precariously balanced pile of clothes. Kimiko stared, her voice failing her to see this impossible feat. In the time it had taken for her to get lost, Temari had created eight stacks of clothing, circling one fitting room.

"There you are," said jounin barked, and Kimiko found herself shoved into the cramped change room with an outfit that looked four sizes too small. After an hour, she concluded that her previous notion was absolutely correct - this was more tiring, incessant and gruelling than any mission she had ever encountered.

Finally, she had had it - and emerged from the depths of the change room to give her bossy guide a piece of her mind. But when she found her way past the piles of discarded clothes, Temari had vanished. Panicking only slightly, Kimiko ran to the front of the store and was about to go further when she saw a head of blonde ponytails a little down the street.

Temari was talking to a Konoha chuunin, Kimiko gathered from the vest and forehead protector. He had a brown ponytail and a bored expression. Why was Temari blushing?

"Kimiko-san! Why aren't you trying on those outfits?" Kimiko could only stare. What the hell gave her permission to - breathe, calm down. Useless emotions.

Ready to attack Temari about the dangers of leaving a kunoichi in a foreign store, she stopped short. Something clicked into place. Was Temari blushing because she liked this guy? He looked younger than her…and uninterested in her.

"Oh, I forgot…Kimiko, this is Nara Shikamaru. He's helping with the Chuunin Exams." Kimiko complied to shake his hand. He was polite, at least.

"Um, why don't you go back into the store and buy what you want?" Temari suggested not-too-subtly, giving Kimiko the allowance from the Kazekage. The brunette kunoichi picked out a few random things, and absurdly found herself wondering if she would look good in them. It wasn't like she was trying to impress anyone…she didn't need to.

As she left the store, only to be confronted with the image of Temari batting her eyelashes at Nara Shikamaru, Kimiko was hit with a sudden realization. Temari had probably planned on staying in Konoha longer, and abruptly her time had been taken away by some random Cloud-nin girl who showed up out of nowhere and somehow eclipsed the hope she'd had to stay with her…friend. Guilty and regretting her own selfish requirements, Kimiko ran back to the apartment Gaara was staying at, in the frightening speed only she managed.

………

"I don't want Temari to come with me," she bluntly stated. Gaara had watched her jump in through the window and toss a bag of unidentified items to the floor. Now he listened, confused by her distress.

"Has she done something?" he asked carefully. Temari was known to step on some toes, and he didn't want to inflame any violent reactions. But Kimiko shook her head furiously.

"She has been nothing but kind to me - and that's why she needs to stay." Evidently seeing his non-response signified bewilderment, the kunoichi continued. "I have…I just appeared, and now it seems like everyone's bending over backwards to help me. I don't deserve your kindness, I tried to kill you! I don't want her to sacrifice anything more than the time she's already lent me…I don't want anyone to."

Tenting his fingers, a useful pose that people took to mean deep thinking, Gaara looked at Kimiko solemnly.

"You feel like an inconvenience?" She nodded. "We all _want_ to help you. That is what friends are for." Her eyes widened a fraction, starting involuntarily. If she was complimented by this, she had no idea how good it felt to call someone a friend. Well, what else could he say? He had just met her, but there was a certain quality to her company, the way she didn't talk too much and didn't pry into his thoughts, that he felt a connection immediately.

"I still want Temari to stay. She has friends here, and I will not be the reason she is pulled away from them. I can go alone."

"Nonsense," Gaara waved his hand. "If you insist, I will send Kankurou, but never alone. That's just asking for trouble." Kimiko finally nodded. She was trying so hard not to be troublesome.

………

Kankurou was not the impassive man his brother was. He tried to make Kimiko laugh all through their three day trip to Suna. She didn't, of course, but she appreciated his friendliness. On the second day, they stopped in the forest for the night.

The moon was blocked by branches, but the fire lit the clearing well enough. Kankurou actually looked a bit scary with the face paint and hood, the darkness around him carving his face into a grotesque mask. Kimiko stared at the burning sticks, as every now and then ash would crumble off, pulled away by the wind into the haunting night sky.

"Kankurou-san," she began, "why is…" Her voice failed her, and she was not strong enough to finish her question. But, fortuitously, Kankurou was not so different from his younger brother, and picked up on the direction she was heading.

"Why is the Kazekage treating you so well? Why is everyone treating you so nicely?" he took a stab at finishing her sentence. She just nodded. "Well, we have to follow his orders; we don't have a choice about you." He grinned, and Kimiko understood he was teasing her. She must remember to study these feelings.

"As for Gaara himself, I can really only theorize. I suppose he was reminded of his past, of how much pain others caused him, when he saw the pain they put _you _through. Maybe he only took you to the hospital because he didn't want to kill another person needlessly."

"I didn't want to kill him either. I tried to stop, but…" Her sentences seemed to be dying on her lips. Kimiko waited for Kanurou to carry on.

"Well, maybe Gaara could tell. Anyway, now he just wants you to feel accepted as a citizen - almost - of Sunagakure. Oh! I guess you'll need some forms and stuff when we get home." Kimiko bit her lip when she heard 'home.' It was so natural for him to refer to the village as such, but for her it was the furthest she'd ever been from the house she'd grown up in, from the land where her father came from. Would she ever be able to call this distant desert home?

Kankurou offered to keep watch, but as Kimiko lay down, she found herself unable to close her eyes. She hadn't even noticed that she was afraid of entering Suna and being lost among all the new faces. She hadn't even noticed she was afraid of…being alone.

………

The desert was just as hot as she'd expected. It was a good thing some of the randomly grabbed clothes were suited for this weather, otherwise she may have melted from the heat. Kankurou told her she just wasn't used to it yet, but in time it would just be a pleasant warmth. Hopefully.

As her new guide had imagined, there were indeed forms to fill out, and forehead protectors to burn. However, the Kazekage had to be present at a citizenship ceremony, and she needed his signature. Damn. What perfect timing. He would arrive in a week. For now, Kankurou told her to stay in the Kazekage residence, in Gaara's room. He was nervous about the hospitality of hotels, seeing as she was pretty much broke, and also hanging in-between villages.

She lay awake again, and wondered what she would do for the first week of her liberty - being confined to this room. A week without fresh air or space seemed like the exact opposite of freedom. These oppressive thoughts were terrifying in their own right. Somehow, in the night, thoughts drifted up that were too scary in the day. She didn't notice that she'd fallen asleep at all, until she opened her eyes and the sun was beaming at her.

The windows had some _very_ strong locks on them. Was Gaara afraid someone would break in? Who in their right mind would do that with a Kazekage in the room? Kimiko shook her head and slid the glass pane open. The wind was wonderful in the overheated room. The desert did have a certain tranquil beauty, in the early morning when the sun wasn't so tyrannically blazing and the wind was gentle.

Kimiko waited for two hours before she collected her courage and went to see Kankurou. She ended up getting pretty lost along the way, the labyrinth of offices that dominated the Kazekage residence seeming to double back on themselves. After wandering into the lobby for the fourth time, Kimiko consulted an elderly man as to Kankurou's whereabouts.

"He will be present at our meeting this afternoon," the man said crisply, obviously more important than Kimiko had taken him for. "You may speak to him after that, but you will not interrupt nor delay the meeting. Good day." His arrogance was almost comedic. Kimiko decided to wait.

She had to wait for most things to happen in her life. Drifting with the tide, she was pulled into every course of action, regardless of her wishes. She'd chosen to forget wishes. That way, you were never disappointed.

After the meeting, Kimiko ambushed Kankurou, walking beside him. She asked if there was actually anything she could do.

"Hmm, sorry, but I think you just gotta wait it out. The Kazekage will be back soon, so be patient." Patience was a virtue, but after training so hard to become so fast, Kimiko found herself short one virtue. People were just so _slow_! At least most shinobi travelled quickly. She hoped wistfully that Gaara and Temari would travel as fast.

………

Finally, the Chuunin Exams were over. One more day to talk with Tsunade, and then he would head home. Gaara already knew who he wanted to become chuunin.

Not so strangely, all of the Cloud-nin had disappeared, though three had made it to the final round. Apparently they'd all dropped out. Gaara knew he should inform the Hokage, and help prepare for future assaults.

As he watched a bird fly away in the distance, he thought inexplicably of Kimiko, her understated charm that had, by some means, entranced him into helping her. What had he been thinking?

There was a possibility this was all a trap, and before she'd come to talk to him about Temari, he'd been wary. It might've been a set up. But her genuine concern for others putting her ahead of themselves was an emotion that was just too…pure. Gaara, and to think of it, she herself, never had anyone _want_ to make their lives easier, or more comfortable. He couldn't imagine putting himself in that situation. He would probably just have ignored Temari's presence as they travelled back to the foreign land.

So why did she care?

_If he would just realize what he was doing, the sand might not be falling quite so fast. But he didn't know what would happen, he didn't even comprehend his own feelings, or he rejected them in misunderstanding. Time was wasting away._

……….

I just realized how OOC Kankurou is…oh well. Please review!


	4. Chapter 4 Death

**Sorry this took so long…my great-aunt just died, so that threw off my schedule a bit. And school sucks. This chapter is very strange. I don't like it.**

**And also, thanks again to reviewers…killerbunnie, you make me blush :) I won't ask you to review, just read.**

**Notes: This chapter is basically about getting to know Kimiko. And starting to hint at the promised attraction ;)**

**Diclaimer: If I owned Naruto, it would not be centered on Naruto.**

Gaara sighed and breathed in the heavy desert air. Even if Konoha had such beautiful vegetation, there was nothing like coming home. Temari seemed of the opposite mind. She never liked leaving Konoha, but Gaara had no idea why. Most of the time she would disappear, anyway.

As the sky glowed with the promise of sun over the cracked, parched ground, Gaara entered the Kazekage mansion, treading lightly so as not to disturb those who slept still. Temari slipped away, sure to be watching him anxiously from afar.

Gaara opened the door to his room and let his bag fall to the ground. The resounding thump seemed to kindle movement in the room, the curtains swelling as they caught air. Gaara frowned as wind touched his face. He never left the window open. In fact, he locked it when he left the room.

Another shadow of movement flickered in the corner of his eye. Caught off guard, Gaara spun a trail of sand from his gourd, ready to attack the intruder. But the trespasser was not so defensive.

Kimiko stirred in his bed, eyes fluttering as she woke. For one moment of shock, the young Kazekage was paralysed. Of all people…in all places…this was absolutely not what he'd expected. The ex-Cloud-nin sat up in the bed, thankfully wearing a modest nightshirt instead of a flimsy pyjama top.

"Kazekage-sama?" she asked, blinking in confusion. "Oh!" She jumped out of the bed, and Gaara realized the over-size nightshirt was her only covering, leaving her lower thighs and legs exposed. He would've blushed, but as it was, he only stared, the sand retreating into his gourd.

Her legs were covered with scars, slashes and stab wounds and discolorations, like bruises that never healed. No wonder she always wrapped them in white bandages. He wondered who had inflicted such damage.

"I'm sorry, Kazekage-sama. Kankurou said it would be okay if I stayed here." Finding his voice, Gaara finally spoke.

"Where did those scars come from?" Kimiko looked down, blushed, and pulled her shirt a bit lower. She bit her lip in thought, and Gaara waited. He had learned to be patient.

"Me," she stated quietly. "Once, I was…I had been paralysed from the waist down…I just wanted to…to wake up. I though pain would work if anything." She seemed to think he'd be horrified. He gave her no such reaction.

"Um, anyway, I need you to sign my citizenship forms. And there's a ceremony of some sort after four months and four days of living in Suna."

"Right…I'll leave now…so you can change…" What else was there to say?

…

That night, Gaara had told her to stay in his room, and that Temari would help her find a place to stay the next day. She had no problem with this, but she wondered where he would go.

This night Kimiko wore long pyjama pants, not wanting a repeat of that morning. Remembering, she felt heat rise to her cheeks, an involuntary action that was still foreign to her. Glancing out the window, she was startled to see none other than the Kazekage himself, sitting on the balcony, his back to the wall and her. The moon was a pearl of luminescence, blurring the edges of his profile.

"Kazekage-sama?" she said softly. "Aren't you going to sleep? I thought the demon had been removed." She had, after all, been fully briefed, before the plan to ambush Konoha had gone astray. Gaara barely moved his head, but looked at her from the corners of his eyes.

"I didn't need sleep before, and I don't need it now," he explained. It seemed like he was growling. Kimiko felt as though going back inside to sleep would be uncomfortable, so instead she sat down a foot or so away from him.

As clouds veiled the moon in a mock masquerade, Kimiko was thrown into a memory of another cloudy night - but then again, when was it not cloudy in Kumogakure, the Village Hidden in Clouds?

"_Your newest mission. We are preparing to attack Konoha, who has long barricaded our path to power in this world. The village is weak, and when they host the upcoming Chuunin Exams, many of their chuunin and jounin will oversee the exams, leaving patrols weak. You four squads will pose as genin taking the tests, and hit them from the inside while we force through their barriers."_

_Kimiko tuned out. Her task was easy. In theory, at least. But could she bring herself to set up this ambush on Konoha, her mother's indigenous village? Could she lower her mother's already low respect for her?_

_Then again, how could she act any other way?_

_The curse seal was itchy, a sensation not seen for the last five years, or rather four years and eleven months. The first month was worse than chicken pox. Or maybe it was always irritating her, but she had grown accustomed to it? Something had happened to make her aware of the terrible influence she was under._

The night was bitter. It seemed to harbour a grudge against Kimiko, for it blasted her with icy winds and left Gaara unruffled. Her bare arms prickled with goose bumps, her naked toes curling to conserve heat. Though she clamped her chattering teeth, Gaara noticed her spasmodic shivers.

"You're cold." It was a statement that offered no room for denial, that hinted at surprise.

"Who knew the d-desert was s-so c-c-cold at night?" Kimiko forced through teeth fastened with strength enough to chew through metal. She had remained inside, warm inside, for the past seven nights. She blew on her frozen fingers and tucked herself up small.

Suddenly, a source of heat leaned towards her. Startled, Kimiko glanced at Gaara, who had shifted to the left, closer to her. She snapped her head away, flushing despite the chill and becoming very interested in her fingernails.

They didn't speak after that, but it wasn't an awkward silence. There was something comforting in his stony, tranquil presence. The two waited out the night until Kimiko fell asleep, not even aware until morning that she had nodded off.

…

There was light burning into her closed eyelids, which she assumed meant it was morning. Opening her eyes just a crack, the sun assaulted her unsuspecting pupils, and she blinked hard.

The kunoichi registered her surroundings - she was still on the balcony, but her head rested on Gaara's shoulder, his arm holding her up. She felt his chin on her head.

With a gasp, she leapt up, knocking him away, but instead of surprise or shame, he looked at her with an apology written in his face.

"Good morning," she stammered before rushing inside to regroup.

…

Temari seemed to be her permanent shopping partner. She wasn't a particularly gentle person, but she was solid and strong, and Kimiko envied her sense of self.

"This is the last apartment before lunch," her blonde companion promised. For the third time. Dragging her up eight flights of stairs, she pushed the brunette kunoichi into a spacious, very empty room. The apartment looked lonely. It was kind of sad. It tweaked her.

Temari flew about the room, checking the walls, floors, windows, doors, anything and everything. Kimiko had to do little more than stand in the centre of the apartment and stare out the window at the amazing view presented to her. The desert was not such a lifeless place.

Overlooking the crowded downtown of Suna, people mingled and socialized, each with their own lives and problems and stories, lives that she may never know or affect. Buildings rose, towers shooting out of the flat landscape of the desert. Past sandstorms had blasted away at the stone and brick and clay, giving them a rounded, polished, ancient look. And past the skyline, the sands reached away to forever, fading in a haze of heat near the horizon.

"I like this one," Kimiko said softly, as she had about every other one, but this time with conviction. Apparently Temari heard it, for she smiled and left to get the landlord. The ex-Cloud-nin (future-Sand-nin?) waited in the small residence, not thinking about rent, or what she would do until she was an official shinobi of the Sand and could take missions to pay her way. She just thought of a different kind of future.

What would she do now that she was free? What would she do to prove that Gaara was right to trust her? What future lay ahead with her slightly jarring past? These things were more important than currency changing hands. Her destiny hung in the balance.

…

Sitting in her new apartment, looking just as empty as it had been (except for the unrolled sleeping bag and backpack full of clothes in the corner), Kimiko watched the lights in the shopping district shut off, one by one. The crowds thinned and vanished with the sun. The sky was refreshingly clear, a phenomenon rarely seen in her old home. She could count every star.

It was quiet, but not the way it was last night. It was lonely. Standing, the kunoichi employed her concealment training to steal softly through the night, to find the young man who watched the same sky peacefully. He had reappeared on the balcony. She stood far below him, on the streets, and he hadn't looked down yet.

Opening her mouth to say something, anything, Kimiko found herself unable to make a sound. She didn't want to interrupt his night. She didn't want to impose. Feeling even lonelier, she retreated into the shadows to wait the night out alone.

…

Of course he'd seen her crawl up. He didn't acknowledge her, mainly because he was curious as to what she was planning. When she returned to the night which she had come forth from, his curiosity was officially piqued. Why had she come? Where was she going?

Unaware of himself, Gaara slipped from the balcony and traced her steps in the dusty streets. She was living in an apartment, it seemed, as she climbed up to a window and slithered in. He didn't want to risk her seeing him, so he started to form a third eye.

It was always interesting having another viewpoint. As he watched the side of the wall fly by, he also saw the street stretching before him. Finally, he saw the elusive window, open just a crack.

It wasn't hard to infiltrate her room, but it was hard to see her in the shadows. Finally he noticed the interruption of light in the far corner. Floating closer, the third eye displayed these images to him - Kimiko lying down on her back, eyes closed. Was she sleeping? She flinched. Then Gaara saw something that remained etched in his memory forever.

Tears poured from her still-shut eyes, her mouth trembling slightly. The moonlight bounced off the crystalline drop descending down her face, glinting and winking at Gaara - or at his third eye. He had never seen anything so beautifully saddening.

What was she thinking of?

"_I'm sorry to be the one to inform you, Mrs. Uwenaka."_

_Six-year-old Kimiko peeked around the corner, her mother's silhouette in the doorframe. The shinobi bowing to her had a mask on. Maybe it was her father's friend from ANBU. She hoped, naively, that he brought news of her father's homecoming, for he had been on a mission for far longer than his daughter enjoyed. She wanted to show him her report card from the Ninja Academy._

"_Isamu Uwenaka passed away on this mission. We have brought his body back for the funeral." Kimiko froze. Minutes passed, her heart pounding so loudly she was sure her mother heard her eavesdropping. There was sudden pain in her chest, like someone had taken a kunai and was gouging out her heart._

_Tears blurred her vision, and a tiny sob escaped her mouth. Her mother's head snapped around sharply, and Kimiko saw her eyes were shining with moisture._

_Suzuku Uwenaka slammed the door in the ANBU man's face, and strode briskly past her young daughter to the bedroom, the tears finally overflowing down her cheeks._

_In shock, Kimiko slipped down to land roughly on the ground, her hands gripping the wall so hard it squeaked as they slid. Shaking uncontrollably, she cried for hours._

…

_The funeral was devastating. It went beyond words to see her father's motionless body lying in the casket. He looked like his skin was fading, and a shadow hung over his eyes. They had cleaned up the wound that had killed him, so the blood didn't show. But she knew it was there._

_The minister droned on. He didn't even know her father! Isamu Uwenaka deserved better than a half-hearted eulogy from a man who never knew him. Risking a glance at her mother, she noted her mouth was pulled thin, which meant she was either angry or about to cry. Suzuku had tried so hard to keep herself from showing any emotion. Especially when Kimiko's paternal grandparents came around._

_At the cemetery, the young girl felt her fancy new shoes sink into the mud, the rain a gentle mist over the sad scene. The minister didn't mention her father's last mission. Apparently it had been top-secret. She would never know why her father had died, or where, or by whose hands. She balled her fists, anger and sorrow colliding._

_As the minister finished his speech, someone started passing out roses. Kimiko took one, and followed her mother to the grave. She stopped there and stared at the coffin. What could she say to him?_

"_I love you, daddy," she whispered, placing the rose with trembling fingers._

INSERTLINEBREAKHERE

_"Your newest mission. We are preparing to attack Konoha, who has long barricaded..." Kimiko tuned out. Her task was easy. In theory, at least. But could she bring herself to set up this ambush on Konoha, her mother's indigenous village? Could she lower her mother's already low respect for her?_

_Then again, how could she act any other way? And didn't she want to fight for the village her father died defending? She wouldn't let his sacrifice go unheeded._

_But now her mother had left, would she care more about where she had come from?_

INSERTLINEBREAKHERE

_"I hope you become as a great a shinobi as your father was," Uncle Hifumi said somberly. If he was so great, why had he died on the mission? "Train hard."_

_After the funeral, they had all come to a restaurant for lunch. Kimiko was quiet, and everyone else chatted nonstop to take their minds off the sudden death of Isamu. Now her uncle was addressing her in his infuriatingly solemn way._

_"You shouldn't be sad. Shinobi must leave their emotions behind to complete the mission. You must take your mind away from your sadness by working to follow in his footsteps." Young Kimiko excused herself to go to the bathroom._

_As she pushed open the door, she saw her mother glance up, startled, her puffy eyes red from crying, the handkerchief halfway to her cheek._

Kimiko opened her eyes. She could remember each detail excruciatingly. And her mother's face as she cried for the second time her daughter could remember. She didn't want to wake up yet, so she closed her eyes again. Just a few more minutes to gather herself to face the day and hide behind her mask once more.

…

_They hid from destiny, all humans ran from the fate that Time would bring. In the end, their time was limited, the sand in the hourglass restricted to a human's short lifeline. And if they could choose another way, it would be better, but their paths were laid before them already. If only humans could see the errors of their ways, but they staunchly stuck with their beliefs of love, of courage and altruism, of power and hatred and revenge, and that led to their downfall._


	5. Chapter 5 Next

**Ermm…I didn't want to write 'four months later…' so this is basically a choppy chapter taking place sometime in the middle of the next four months, so yeah…WARNING: EMONESS follows in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I would love to own Gaara, but Naruto, not so much. I guess it's good that I don't, then.**

Finding a job was difficult. There was only one thing she was built for, and it was being a shinobi. But when she was deprived of that, at least for a few months, she found herself totally inadequate to fill any other job position.

Kimiko soon found herself waitressing at some fancy restaurant, and stumbled to make small talk with customers. Because of this, she was downgraded to janitorial services, where she was much more comfortable. It had soothing routine: wash the floors, clean the tables, wash the dishes, empty the garbage. She felt like she was repeating a drill, as she had done in lonely training years ago.

But when she received her pay check, she was dismayed and panicked. Immediately, she searched for another job. Delivering food was perfect for her speed. But the food tended to be so cooled down by the ride, whipping through the air; she was demoted again to the kitchen, in charge of the most basic dishes.

Working was frustrating, and she dreaded getting up in the morning. But she hardly slept anyway, and instead she stared out the window at the dark star-speckled sky, thinking of her past. She hadn't cried in eight years…until she returned to her six-year-old self.

_One month after the funeral, her mother asked if she wanted to go for a walk. This was unusual, to say the least. Even before her father…left, her mother had never been very outdoors-y and preferred to stay inside and cook. And she had also never wanted to do much with her daughter. Kimiko was suspicious._

_As they crossed a bridge that sat high above a deep gorge, Suzuku stopped and stared down into the abyss, the mist smearing the bottom so it was impossible to see where the earth closed up. Returning to her mother's side, the little girl peered over the edge of the bridge._

"_Don't lean so far, you might fall in," Suzuku murmured, yanking her daughter back. She looked down at Kimiko, thinking hard. Even at that tender age, the girl knew to keep her tongue._

"_Kimi, I want you to know…you've been very strong for the past month, and I need you to keep being strong. I don't want you to give up or become depressed, and I think you already know how much he loved you…how much he loved us." By now, the tears were gathering and spilling over. "Oh, god, I loved him so much. Why did it have to be him? Why won't they tell me anything?" Kimiko hugged her mother, because it seemed to be the right thing to do. She always needed her parents to hold her and comfort her when she was hurt, and now her mother was hurting, and it was her responsibility to hold her._

_Suzuku stood up, and pulled her wedding ring off, handing it to her daughter._

"_I want you to keep this. It's from him to me to you. I hope you remember how much we loved you…" As Kimiko wondered what that could possibly mean, Suzuku Uwenaka threw herself off the bridge._

_A scream ripped its way out of her throat as the young girl started to climb the railing, ready to follow her mother. But a cloaked ANBU shinobi appeared out of nowhere, and pulled her back. As Kimiko hit the ground hard, the masked stranger pulled out a chain and whipped it into the abyss at the growing-fainter form of Suzuku. Kimiko crawled to the edge and saw the chain snake through the air towards her mother, who deftly pulled out a kunai and deflected it. She had never used a kunai before in her life._

_Screaming again, crying again, Kimiko was taken home by the ANBU operative, and left there. When she calmed down, she wondered why a trained shinobi had been tracking her and her mother._

_Later she would find out her mother was considered severely depressed, and her father's friends were worried about her. They still couldn't stop her. And not one of them cared enough to adopt the newly orphaned Kimiko._

_After a while, the young girl started to wear the ring on a necklace that she hid under her shirt. And she started to hide her heart as well._

Kimiko blinked the tears out of her eyes, and as she did, she noticed a shadow moving in the dark. Tensing, she pulled a senbon from her sleeve and shifted her position, but the moon revealed nothing in the night. Writing it off as her mind playing tricks, she turned from the window.

…

Gaara wondered if she cried every night, and felt bad that she had no one to comfort her. He wondered if anyone had felt bad for him, all those years ago.

Suddenly, she looked straight at him, and he cursed silently, slipping further in the shadow disappearing like only a shinobi can. Why did he feel the need to hide? She wasn't the type to make a big deal out of it.

Gaara closed his eyes and knew he would be sleeping tonight.

…

Kimiko barely scraped up enough money for rent, but there was no way in hell she was asking anyone for money, least of all the three people she actually knew in Suna. Determined, she took on endless shifts and did odd jobs, and tried to feel at home in her empty apartment at night.

She had nothing to do one night, so she took out a brush and some different-coloured ink, and started writing on the blank walls. Something told her it wasn't the most responsible thing to do, but she couldn't stop herself, and the colours and shapes that took form were more than enough to fill the bleak chasm she was feeling.

Suddenly, she was writing the kanji for love, right in the middle of the room. Staring at the character, she tried not to think of her mother or father…or Gaara, who was suddenly tied to that word as well. She blushed, and strictly told herself it was only because love was written on his forehead.

Dropping the brush, she climbed onto the roof of the apartment building and counted the stars until she fell asleep.

…

The days turned into weeks into months. She reflected on the events leading up to this period of waiting and wasted energy. Before she would train when she felt sad. Now she went to workplace #1 to earn extra cash, workplace #2 for an impromptu cooking lesson, or she drew something on her wall (which the landlord had stared at for a long time, then looked at her curiously, and left without a word).

She never saw Kankurou or Temari, and she hadn't seen Gaara since that one night. She knew they were preoccupied with missions and Kazekage duties, respectively, and she longed to join the ranks of shinobi. Just a few more months, she told herself impatiently.

So, which event had started it all? What had led her to this fate, this moment in the right _now_?

Even though she told herself it started with the Raikage, she knew it was her. She had changed after losing her parents. She had fallen.

Everyday, she trained for ten to fifteen hours, just because there was nothing else to do. She became obsessed with becoming a true kunoichi. She wanted to follow her father's footsteps. She wanted to be as strong as her mother. She wanted to have some kind of meaning, a purpose, a direction in life.

She spent countless months training, screaming silently to be stronger, to work harder. She was angry at everyone, and frustrated with her weakness, and devastated and lonely and she wanted to die. But she wouldn't, not yet. She wouldn't follow her mother's path. She didn't want people to see her as an unstable reflection of her mother. She wanted to be more.

Even after her accident, she was up and walking within a month, and back to training. It was entirely maddening to have to return to square one, her body not responding, so she pushed herself further to the edge.

When she graduated early, people had stopped talking to her. Her three-person-team, led by a jounin, were just slowing her down, and they all knew it. When she was ten, her jounin mentor talked to the Raikage, apparently. She had strived to be a great kunoichi, and now he was making her into a nameless, faceless tool. She couldn't even kill herself then, because someone was always watching her.

She had become necessary, but she still had no direction. There was nowhere to go from there, only where the Raikage led her on chains. And now she was free.

But what kind of freedom was this? She wanted to scream and tear her hair out; she needed to do something, anything!

And still, was there a secret part of her that really wanted to serve Suna? To protect the one person who had stopped and looked past her eyes and cared enough to rescue her? She sighed and retreated back into silence and emotionless façade. She was too tired to think about this.

…

Had four months passed already? Four days ago, Temari had helped him prepare for the citizenship ceremony. She had to leave, but reassured him it would be fine. He didn't need that encouragement, but it was nice to feel he was finding love from his sister. And Kankurou, though he tried to be a man about his feelings.

Gaara had never performed a citizenship ritual before, and he couldn't help but feel some kind of tension between he and Kimiko. At that time, he was to inexperienced to know that it was a connection, not tension.

The ceremony was short, and boring. There was no one there, but two witnesses (a minister and one ANBU) to authorize the event. Even though she was difficult to read, Gaara saw Kimiko stiffen when the ANBU entered the room. He couldn't imagine why - she must've had to work with them before, as the Raikage's pet.

After the ceremony, Gaara was left to confer with the newly christened Suna citizen in his office. There, he gave her a forehead protector with Suna's symbol.

"I have a team ready, and I hope you'll be ready for the Chuunin Exams next month. You do want to retake them, right? You were doing quite well before…certain events terminated your eligibility." Kimiko nodded slowly. He hoped he wasn't pressuring her. The last thing he wanted to do was become another repressive tyrant like her former master.

"Alright, there's Akio Koizumi and Yukio Hatoyama. Specializing in weapons and fire-based attacks, respectively. You can meet them tomorrow, here." Gaara paused. He felt he should say something. Something like, 'Welcome to Suna.' Something warm and hospitable. Instead he just stared into her eyes and wondered why.

…

Akio was actually very kind, though some might look down on him as being clumsy and awkward. Not a good combination with weapons, yet he handled them deftly and with an air of grace. Yukio reminded her of one shinobi she had observed during the last Chuunin Exams - Naruto Uzumaki. He was loud, brash, ruled by emotion, and friendly. His overbearing personality, she sensed, would clash with her quiet apathy.

Even though this was her team, she was already analyzing them and inventing battle strategies - if push came to shove, she was confident in her ability to beat them. On the other hand, she devised strategies to cover their flaws.

She could only hope for co-operation, not friendship.

**TIMESKIP (A/N: yes, I am very lazy right now…but seriously, did you want me to cover the entire Exam? Hello, boring…)**

Two months later, she was being congratulated by Temari and Kankurou, who had thrown her a party for becoming chuunin. By party, she meant more like taking her out for dinner, and inviting exactly one person along - Gaara - which she felt was very generous of them, seeing as they barely knew her.

Upon bringing up this topic, Temari laughed nervously and Kankurou grinned.

"We wanted to, uh, welcome you to Suna - and since you didn't know anyone but us, we thought we should congratulate you properly." Temari clapped her hands once, with a devious grin.

"Speaking of which; we got you presents." And the two siblings of the Kazekage whipped out two wrapped packages from seemingly thin air. Kimiko blushed and felt a warm glow of gratitude.

Temari had gotten her a lava lamp, which she and her brother laughed at hysterically. She explained that all bachelors needed a lava lamp, and Kimiko accepted it without question. Kankurou had given her an empty box (was it supposed to be funny?) with a card that read 'Your new bed is waiting at home!' Apparently Temari had filled him in on the empty-apartment thing. Kimiko smiled genuinely and thanked both of them.

Temari looked at Gaara inquisitively.

"I told you to bring something," she scolded him. Gaara, who had basically sat in the corner, observing the conversation, glared back at her.

"I did bring something," he said quietly, and pulled out a small red box. He handed it to Kimiko, and she felt their fingers brush. Heat rising to her cheeks, she lifted the lid and saw a little charm on a black leather cord. She already saw it hanging next to a ring, hidden near her heart.

It was an hourglass, miniscule but easily recognized, and filled with sand that Gaara explained came from his gourd. Kimiko smiled at him, but his siblings looked disgusted.

"Ew, Gaara! You put blood into that sand!" Temari squealed. Again, the Kazekage glared at his sister, exasperated.

"It's so that if she gets lost, I can find her," he said so quietly they could barely hear him. There may have been a red hue on his cheeks, but if there was it was only slight. Kimiko hid a smile and repeated her thanks. She would like to know that someone was looking for her.

…

_How symbolic - an hourglass. Sand trickling out until there was stillness, time expired. And how strange it was he giving it to _that_ one. With stone eyes, it watched his time slipping through the crack, indifferent to his approaching death and yet reflecting upon the folly of humans that they sacrifice themselves for the sake of their absurd dreams._

…

Wow, this chapter is…weird…please review!!!!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6 Life

**BAM! We're speeding through the calm and going right into the fight scenes, which I suck at, so please don't kill me. ////waves white flag\\\\ and I am making this story before Deidara, Hidan and Kakuzu fight and lose. Because I said so.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything…except this story…and my insane fantasies…**

Kimiko waited for three nights, just building up her courage. Then on the fourth, she joined Gaara in stargazing, clothed properly this time. When she arrived, the Kazekage didn't look surprised or angry or happy…which she told herself was silly to even consider. Of course he wasn't showing emotion.

But she had wondered, after her chuunin 'party,' and it tortured her to think about him. It took her so long, and then she decided it was time to return to the moonlit balcony. She sat next to him, as before, and said nothing. Why had she come tonight? What had made her think it was right?

Gaara was quiet. Kimiko tried to memorise this moment of silence, of what felt like happiness because he was next to her. She wanted to know this tranquility for the next time she was breaking down. The hourglass shape tucked under her shirt burned into her collarbone, the ring cool and expectant besides.

"Why are you here?" Gaara suddenly said. Kimiko, startled by the sound, glanced at him and then away. She didn't want to make eye contact; it was too direct and intimidating.

"I don't know…I've been asking myself the same thing. Why am I here on this earth? Do I serve a purpose?" she answered with another question, her voice more defeated and hollow than she wanted it. Gaara just sat there, and he seemed to be listening, so for the first time in eight or nine years, Kimiko talked to someone about her family. She hadn't meant to. She certainly hadn't planned it. But there she was, spilling her guts.

Gaara listened, just the way she wanted him to, and when she was done and biting back tears, he told her his story. Because it seemed the right thing to do. And now, she really was crying. For him. For his family.

And it felt better now that he knew and she knew.

…

The day had been nice, until he received that letter. An urgent note from Konoha - Akatsuki had been spotted, ten miles from Suna, travelling in a suspiciously large group of four, and moving fast. They had just passed through the edges of the Land of Fire and seemed to be heading east, towards Suna.

As Kazekage, it was his duty to keep his village - and entire land, safe. If they wanted control, they'd have to fight him for it. If they had his demon, what else could they possibly want? He wondered, and resolved to have a party go out to meet them. Only the best jounin, in case things turned ugly.

It pained him to have to send his siblings on such a dangerous mission, as it always did, but he showed nothing and so did they. Along with them went Baki, and against his better judgement, Kimiko. She was now jounin, but still fresh to the rank, and he always felt there was something off with her.

Gaara set specific instructions to go, converse _only_, and if more violent measures were essential, to send the fastest post - Kimiko - for him. Her speed was perhaps the weight that tipped the balance on his decision. He saw them fade into the hot haze of the desert, massaged his temples, and turned back to his paperwork.

…

Waiting for them, as if expecting their appearance, were four members of Akatsuki. Deidara, the man who had almost killed the Kazekage, stood looking smug and confident as ever. The next two there was little information on, only that the one with the triple-sickle was apparently immortal and the masked man beside him had ability in all elements. The last one, orange-masked with one hole for an eye, was completely unknown…therefore, making him the most dangerous.

It seemed all eyes were on Deidara, the most hated by the Suna citizens. But Kimiko, who hadn't seen his power and was untouched by the experience, kept her eyes on the others, daring them to make a move. It was a bad situation if one or two of the other three suddenly attacked - the others weren't being careful at all.

"It's been awhile," Deidara said loudly. "I heard your Kage's still alive - lucky bastard."

"It seems you didn't complete your task," the sickle-wielding man said mockingly. "Allowing your charge to live - there is no excuse. Jashin would have your head for not begging forgiveness."

"Shut up, Hidan!" Deidara snarled.

"What business do you have in the Land of Wind?" Baki asked through clenched teeth. The four men assumed looks of fake innocence.

"We're simply passing through. Can we not do that in peace?" Hidan said, smirking as though enjoying a private joke.

"Tobi is a good boy, he won't do anything wrong," the orange-masked man added, and Kimiko wondered if he was referring to the other masked man, until he jabbed a thumb at himself and she realized it was he who was 'Tobi.'

Just then, she noticed a small white spider crawling towards her, and as she raised her foot slightly to crush it (she detested spiders) her body stopped moving. The only person she knew who could do this was…

Questioningly, she turned to Kankurou, who had his chakra strings on her. His eyes were hard.

"I got you just in time," he muttered, and suddenly all four of the Suna shinobi jumped back, Kimiko yanked along on strings. She found out why as the little spider set off a giant explosion. The Akatsuki had also leapt to safety, and as the eight shinobi stared each other down, further from each other now, Kankurou hissed at the brunette kunoichi.

"What are you waiting for? Get Gaara!" Remembering in a flash, she turned on her heel and ran, the sounds fading as wind rushed past her ears. The only way she could tell what was happening was by the tremors of the earth, replaying the explosions for her.

…

"Kazekage-sama!" she yelled, bursting into his office. Thankfully, he'd left his window open and she swung right in. Gaara swivelled on his chair, saw her, and followed without a word, a note fluttering from his hand to the desk.

Gaara might've been the Kazekage, but he was slowing her down, and her anxiety to get back and help her comrades was so strong she found her feet flying, ignoring Gaara's cries to stop. In retrospect, this was already a bad idea, as she was disobeying a direct command from the Kazekage.

Racing towards the clearing created by explosions and wind blades, Kimiko saw Kakuzu and Temari fighting, both shinobi worn down by incessant attacks. She noticed Hidan's outward appearance had changed, taking a skeletal form. His sickle dripped with crimson and Kankurou was coughing up blood on the ground, his puppets lying forgotten.

As she searched for the remaining two Akatsuki, she noticed something white and large forming near Deidara, who was in the sky on a strange white bird. Baki seemed to be taking on the residual men, sparring with Tobi and defending Deidara's clay bombs. But how could he escape…that?

A giant clay model, wings unfolding, fell to the ground, and dread filled Kimiko like no emotion she knew, as she ran to help Kankurou retreat before the thing detonated. She was so afraid, for her and her comrades, and in that horrible moment of such lunacy, she was happy that she felt anything at all.

As Akatsuki looked sharply at Deidara, who was laughing maniacally as his creation grew closer to destroying everyone in a mile-wide radius. Well, sure. He was flying out of range. His comrades finished their attacks and retreated, leaving the Suna shinobi.

As the giant bird neared, Kimiko wondered why her life wasn't flashing before her eyes. Maybe it had all been so pointless she didn't need to relive it. She felt Kankurou's limp body slip from her grasp and something encircled her waist as light and heat claimed her.

She was reliving her past, alright. The explosion took her like the lightning had, fire racing through her veins and light blinding her through closed eyes. She felt herself fade away. She was taken to somewhere new.

_The light faded and she looked around. Her body was charred and throbbing, her head in so much pain she thought of slicing it open. She was in a cave of some sort, earth crumbling from the walls and the floor cold rock._

_As her eyes adjusted to the darkness after such infinite white, she saw where she lay. Hundreds of thousands of things littered the floor - but not carelessly. They had been spaced, shifted so each was equal distance from the next._

_They were hourglasses, hourglasses with no lids. Some sand was trickling slowly, some was rushing forth. Kimiko had no idea how this was happening, but as her eyes further adjusted, she peered into the gloom and saw two eyes staring back._

_With a mangled scream rising and dying in her throat, the kunoichi tried to jump up, but she could barely struggle to her knees. It was then she saw that it was a mere statue, a gold statue with winking diamond eyes. It sat in the dim cave and watched her. She knew it was inanimate, but she couldn't avoid the inexplicable way it stared her down._

"_Where am I, oh God, what happened?" she whispered desperately. Her voice echoed around the cave. She pulled herself to her hands and knees, pain shooting down her body with every breath._

"_Where indeed?" A voice came from nowhere, shocking the kunoichi into screaming. "Calm down, girl. I can tell you what happened." Kimiko raised her head to the statue, and it was still looking at her. Its golden mouth never moved, but the sound reverberated around it. "You must have been caught in a sonic boom before the cause of it destroyed your body," the statue mused. Kimiko wondered if she had gone crazy, or was dead, because there was no way a statue mused, or talked, or glared at her with such life._

"_I was in an explosion," she answered the unasked question. "I thought I had died!"_

"_You have," the statue replied darkly. "And yet here you are, in my Dimension of Time. And yet you've escaped from fate itself. Look here, child, at these hourglasses by my feet." Kimiko bent to obey. "Each glass is one person's life. I am the god of time who presides over everyone's lifespan." Kimiko observed the simple devices that were really so much more. Was this real?_

_And then she saw something that shocked her even more than all the new information she was receiving. It was an hourglass. With Gaara's name on it. And it was almost run out._

Temari and Baki supported Kankurou and they stood, staring at the body lying on the ground. Gaara had come at the last second, and thrown his sand protection around the three of them - but he had been too late for Kimiko, who had disappeared without a trace. And by diverting his protection to save the ones he cared most about, he had so sacrificed his own safety - as any Kazekage would do.

But what would Suna do without their Kazekage, and Akatsuki presumably heading towards them, armed and dangerous?

Where had Kimiko gone? Was her body obliterated by the explosion? Or had she run - she certainly was fast enough to escape. But Kankurou held firm that she was by his side until the end.

There wasn't time to mourn right now. Taking the limp, scarred body of their beloved Kazekage, the three jounin headed back to their village, panicked and apprehensive of the fate of their people.

"_Why is Gaara's hourglass so empty?" Kimiko demanded of the so-called god of time. "How can I fix it?" What was this feeling, below the panic and worry and fear? What was this emotion that coloured her heart with such wild frenzy?_

"_You can do nothing. If you flip the glass over, trying to restart his time, the sand will fall out the open top. There is a chance he may gain time if you put more sand in his glass, but can you bring yourself to shorten someone else's remaining time? He is going to die, and soon." The god seemed to be taunting her. He lay dying, and what could she do? She could only sit here crying, was that it?_

"_I'll use my own sand, then," she decided, the words striking fear in her, and yet she knew it was for the best._

"_Didn't you listen to me? You have died, or at least you should've. Eight years ago, you were struck by lightning. Do you recall your life flashing before your eyes? You were supposed to die. That was your fate. And yet, you escaped, and survived. I must assume it was your chakra, strengthening you, which kept you alive. But your time has run out. You have no options. You have no sand." Kimiko, tears running down her pallid face, looked up, calm and expressionless. Gaara's sand was so close to gone…if she let that happen, there was no bringing him back._

"_You're wrong," she stated. "I do have sand." And then she pulled out the hourglass charm that Gaara had given her. She tugged on the cord and it fell from her neck. She held the charm and the ring in one hand…her dead family and her new comrades in one hand. The only thing that mattered now was her new comrades - the hourglass. There was only a little sand in it, but it was enough. Carefully, she broke the glass, sand flowing out - more than she hoped for, enough to give Gaara time…enough time for her to see him again._

_Then again… "Will I ever be released from this dimension?" she begged of the statue. "What must I do?" The god was silent, and she feared for a moment she had imagined the whole conversation._

_In the few seconds that seemed like a lifetime, Kimiko felt it, the emotion without description, that which had fuelled her to react so violently to Gaara's destiny. Was it _that_ feeling, then? She hadn't experienced such a reaction in nine years. Was it love?_

_And then it spoke._

"_You defy every rule of time and fate…Who knows if that inferior sand will sustain him? You defy me, the god of time itself. And who is to say that you won't defy the rules of dimension? However, you must know…without an hourglass of your own, you will never die of old age. If you survive to the point that you are wearied by life and you wish to die…" Kimiko swallowed a breath she hadn't noticed she was holding. "…you must ask someone to kill you."_

"_Thank you," the kunoichi half-whispered, half-cried. "For telling me. Everything." The ring fell from her cold fingers, and she felt a terrible pressure on her core, as though something was exploding on the inside. Her time in this dimension, it seemed, had run out._

A gasp of air - fresh, clean air, not the stale air of a dank cave. Did she dare open her eyes to the light? Was she alive? More importantly, was he?

Struggling to move, she cracked her eyelid open a tiny bit. The light that flooded her vision was so awesome and painful she moaned a bit and turned away. Staring at the shaded ground, she took a deep breath and sat up, biting her tongue hard to keep from screaming as the light filled her.

She had landed back at the clearing, the earth carved out from the explosion and debris scattered everywhere. Stumbling to her feet, she ignored the sting in her legs and arms, and ran.

After chasing faint noises and tracking almost invisible marks of passing, Kimiko found the three jounin and Gaara, Kankurou leaning on Temari and Baki carrying a limp Gaara on his back.

"Te-Temari! Kankurou!" the kunoichi yelled, her voice dying on the last syllable. The jounin turned around, and her heart fell to see the droop of Gaara's shoulders, the way his body moved, wilted.

"Kimiko? What…you're okay!" Temari. "This must be a miracle!" There was no miracle, just insanity.

"He…Is he okay?" she whispered in a voice torn and hoarse. No one spoke, but she felt their anguish and hopelessness. They were heading back to Suna. Akatsuki! What would happen without the Kazekage?

Her heart beat faster and faster as she silently willed his eyes to flutter, his chest to rise with breath, anything. She hadn't done it, then. She had failed him. She was crying again, seemingly not dry after her trip to another dimension.

Then he coughed. Blood sprayed onto the ground, but he was alive, gloriously alive. Baki set him down, and he stood on weak legs, looking up at Kimiko. Their eyes met, and she was stunned by the clarity of his gaze.

"We have to get back to Suna," he reminded his comrades softly, and they were off.

…

Akatsuki had arrived by the time the five shinobi returned, and already engaged in battle with the border patrol. Scarlet swirls painted the walls of Suna, blood lost. Medic nin were everywhere, the few that Suna had.

Gaara was already working, his sand taking Akatsuki by surprise. This slight advantage tipped the scales, as Temari and Baki shot into the heart of the battle, Kimiko following after glancing at Gaara and his brother. Severely outnumbered and now unsure of their position in the battle, Akatsuki retreated.

Kimiko watched them go, wondering distantly whether her mother's sand had fallen, or if she'd jumped too early into death. Was suicide someone's fate, or did they choose for themselves? She would never know.

And sometimes it was better leaving things to the unknown.

_The ring she had left behind had fallen into his hourglass. Now it blocked the sand from falling. Unwittingly, she had given him time to grow older, to live a regular lifespan. The god of time would've shaken his head, if his stone body allowed it. She really was defying everything he knew of fate and chance. And it worked to _that_ man's advantage, intuitively._

O.o

Ummm…strange randomness…this story is nearing an end :( and its sand is running out. Please review!


	7. Chapter 7 Breaking Down Walls

**Merry Christmas!! This is my present to all my readers…if there are any…**

**Urrghh, this chapter killed me…I have to warn that Gaara is OOC, because anything that involves loooooooove means he's OOC. I tried to tone it down, though…and BTW, this whole chapter is screwed up cause they're soooo clueless. Haha, poor Gaara.**

**Disclaimer: What does it say on Wikipedia? (The all-knowing…I bow to thee.) Not mine!!**

Gaara leaned back in his chair, feeing suddenly old. Akatsuki was still lurking nearby, and now he had a tiny little problem in the form of a brunette kunoichi who happened to be possibly the most alluring person he'd ever met.

What was this? This wasn't him; he never had these kinds of thoughts. He had accepted love as a form of gaining strength, love for friends and family, but the thought of a relationship had never crossed his mind. It was a distraction, an awkward connection that made him uncomfortable.

And she…there was no way he could hope for the return of feelings. Especially from her, as scarred as she was, as tortured by her past as she was. Like him. But that was what made her so…… She understood. Him. She understood him.

This was so frustrating! The agony of lying in question was unbearable. And there was no way he could tell her…or anyone else. No wonder Kankurou was always complaining about dating…this was so damn confusing.

But that could wait until the Akatsuki was gone. Right now, he had to assess the situation and figure out a strategy. Sending some of the best jounin had resulted in almost losing all of them. So what other solution did he have?

…

"No," Temari stated flatly. "No way. You've almost died twice now, and who knows what kind of miracle brought you back safe both times." Kimiko, now a respected jounin who was apparently privy to such conversations, stood amongst the throng gathered in the Kazekage office.

"And third times' the charm," Gaara said calmly. "I have a responsibility to Suna - the people of Suna." Kankurou was already losing his cool, his face furrowed in frustration and fury.

"Your responsibility is to protect your village to your death, not to die for no reason! Your responsibility is to stay with your village!"

"I will leave in two hours, after I've rested," Gaara continued, as though no one had spoken. "No one may follow me. And if or when I die, I have left instructions to the elders." He glared at the assembled jounin, daring them to object, which many did…loudly. "I've made my choice."

It was so hard to see his face as they all left his room, except his older siblings, who stayed behind to be difficult.

…

Dusk faded to a twilight that was even colder than usual, but she didn't shiver. It was a cold from within. She knew what he was doing, and why. He'd told her everything she needed to know, that one night that seemed so far away, so long ago.

He wanted to be seen as a saviour, not a monster. He wanted to atone for his past mistakes - to be a sacrifice for the safety of his people. Why couldn't he see that his sacrifice wouldn't stop Akatsuki?

Or did he actually believe he could stop four of them? Kimiko was so worried her heart felt as though it would break. It was worse pain than she had ever experienced, even in her days as the Raikage's slave. She cried without making a sound.

Well then, what the hell was she doing sitting around crying about it?

Wiping away tears impatiently, she stood and leapt from her windowsill, her trademark speed taking her to the Kazekage mansion in less than a minute. She rubbed her eyes until it hurt. He wouldn't see her cry again.

As she scanned the windows for a shadow of movement that would betray Gaara's position, she saw a shifting form in the night. Following the distant form from a distance, she saw a familiar giant gourd. (A/N: ahahaha…there's only one, right?)

"Gaara!" she said loudly. Then she quickly added, "-sama!" She knew her place. He turned, saw her face in the moonlight, and looked away.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered, so quietly that she thought he hadn't heard, for he continued walking. But the sadness in her voice carried a certain weight. He answered.

"You know why." It was the truth, but it was no answer. She ran closer to him and stopped. He did not.

"You don't have to go alone," she said at his retreating back. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to prove yourself this way. Going alone is dangerous and foolhardy, not heroic."

"This is my responsibility as the Kazekage." No emotion coloured his tone, no fear or regret or even a hidden desire to tell her…damn. Her mind was running away with her. And she used to be the emotionless one!

"It is not, and you know it!" Why was she getting so worked up over this? "I could come and help you; you know I'm strong enough!" Who was this stranger, pleading and desperate, talking through her lips? "You're insane to go alone, just one nearly killed you!" What she said made sense, but how she felt made no sense. "Please, let me come!"

"I can't endanger you. I couldn't save you last time." Was that regret? Amazing…She softened her voice, the truth spilling out.

"You have saved me, more than you know. You saved me from being a puppet, then you saved me from being an outcast…again…forever. You saved me from being nothing, feeling nothing…Please, let me save you!" And now tears? What was wrong with her?

(A/N: if you know the song "don't wanna lose you now" by the backstreet boys…ya, I just thought of that…you know you're cool when you can remember exactly how a song by the backstreet boys goes…:P)

"I won't let you." And suddenly she was really, really angry and the words freed themselves.

"You baka!" she screamed at his ever-distant back. "You idiot! You're going to die and you don't even care how anyone else feels about it…how _I_ feel about it!" She barely heard his answer.

"Why should you care?" Wistful and low, his voice cut to the heart of her.

"I…Because. Because I love you." Damnit, she was losing her mind. These words were wrong and they didn't fit, but God, why did it feel so right? Gaara said nothing, still walking; then his voice took on an edge.

"You don't know what love is." He was so cold. She knew he'd react like this, thinking she was another head-in-the-clouds, obsessed fangirl. How could he? He knew her better than anyone, though she was afraid to admit it.

"Neither do you!" Kimiko yelled at him, and he stopped.

He was in front of her, close. His eyes were dark, and she feared for a moment he was mad at her. She opened her mouth and raised her hands - why? To hug him? To grab him and make sure he stayed here with her? It didn't matter, because for once Gaara was moving faster than Kimiko. Her gripped her wrists firmly, still staring into her eyes. She never knew his eyes to be so clear. Later, both people present wondered what had driven them to act so aberrantly intense.

Gaara didn't lean down to her - he'd never be that person. Instead he pulled her wrists sharply and she fell forward to meet his lips.

It wasn't timid or awkward or dead, as she'd expected. It was passionate and strong and filled with the fire he'd held back for so long. It was questioning, and she answered him gently. It was new for both of them, and Kimiko relished that they shared this first step together.

When they stopped, Gaara leaned his forehead on hers, and they just rested for a minute. It was too much for now, and maybe forever. With all they'd been through, such a display of physical affection was too unfamiliar. But it felt nice to have him hold her hand.

"You can't expect me to let you tag along now," Gaara finally broke the silence. Kimiko glared at him.

"Well, don't think I'll let you go alone now," she countered. "Let's just go, scope out the situation, and if one thing leads to another and we have to fight, at least we'll be together. Until the end." It was terrifying to say something like that, especially now that she'd tasted freedom on his lips.

Gaara knew her well enough to know that she was coming with him, so he relented to have her tag along. They faced the darkening horizon together, two broken hearts finding that perhaps the other half of themselves was never what they were looking for. Maybe someone else could fill the emptiness better.

_As sand falls through the hourglass, time passing, precious moments that will never be brought back, it really is about making every grain of sand count. Every second that is lost has to be lived to the fullest extent. We humans just want to know that we did something worthwhile on our short time on Earth._

**The End**

O.o

What were you expecting, a fight scene? I'm a writer, not a warrior. Anyway, thanks to all my reviewers and those who have supported me throughout this story. I couldn't have done it without you!...Well, I probably could have…:P


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